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bladeShe slides a blade across her skin,
She is crying again,
“Why am I so worthless?”
she asks, but again no answer comes,
Tears cloud her vision,
But she can feel the blade on her skin,
She feels her blood trickle down her arm.
“I’m so fat and ugly,” she whispers,
but no one is there to hear her,
so she is left to sob alone once more,
dead into the night feeling more isolated than ever,
“I hope tomorrow will be better,” She thinks desperately,
But she knows it won’t be…
She wants something terrible to happen to him,
Like maybe a stab in the heart with a butcher’s knife,
Or a dagger to twist into his bone marrow making him scream in anguish,
perhaps a blade to drive into his flesh causing blood to flow down his beautiful body,
something that will definitely cause considerable pain and suffering,
She wants to hurt torture him till his life drains out of his slender frame,
Or maybe a stab from a serrated knife causing his ribs to crack and splinter.
She wants to hurt him like he hurt her,
Yet what she really wants is to forgive him,
but how can she?
When the fucking little cunt doesn’t even have the decency to apologize to her?
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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